I had planned to have this baby at home, I planned to have my partner as my support, my mom to come help with my son and my midwives as my care providers. I bought everything I needed for the home birth, and the rest was provided to me. I was due November 9th.. but this little girl had other plans!!
It all started on October 24th I lost some of my mucous plug that evening. I texted my mom notifying her that things were starting to happen. I immediately sort of panicked and started to prep things for the birth. Although we were pretty much prepared, I still had a few last things to do before. I thought I had a couple weeks to go still, so I was suddenly rushing to finish.
October 27th @ 5am. *whoooooosh* I felt like I was dreaming, I thought that a wave from the ocean just came up and splashed against my body. I woke up yelling “MY WATER JUST BROKE”. Where I was laying in bed was soaked. I ran into the bathroom and more liquid came out of me, it was not pee lol. I started to shake, my teeth were chattering. I was in shock I think?! I called my mom right away.
I thought to myself NO the baby can’t come yet!! I still need to go get my gel polish taken off my hands! LOL. This is seriously whats running through my mind at 5 am after my water breaks. My partner showers, I start trying to give myself a pedicure. I felt like I was going crazy. I called my midwife, she said to go back to sleep and rest as the baby probably won’t be here until later in the day. I could NOT sleep. I laid in bed after wondering when I would feel my first contraction.. then suddenly around 7 am I started feeling contractions, they were coming every 6 minutes but just felt sorta crampy nothing serious.
8 am – Pablo wakes up. Contractions stop. Hmm.. Okay, weird. I went on with my morning, as usual, got Pablo breakfast. I couldn’t eat much myself, I was too anxious(I did not want to throw up when I was in labour so I ate pretty light). My mom came over. I was having random cramps all throughout the morning. I planned to go get my gel polish taken off, and run some errands. So my mom and I took Pablo and we walked a few blocks to the nail salon. I got my errands done, we grabbed some lunch. I barely ate any of it. I was still just wondering when things would happen. I know you are on a time limit once your water breaks so I felt pressure, and was a bit worried.
When Pablo napped I started having more pains, they were so inconsistent though.
That evening when Pablo went to sleep my partner, myself & my mom stayed up waiting around for my labor to start.. we were patiently waiting for this little babe to make her appearance. I bounced on my exercise ball, I danced around my kitchen, I did downward dog, cat-cow etc. I paced around my house. I wanted this baby out!!!! I totally thought that she would come by this evening.
Finally, I laid in bed with my twinkle lights, and my birth affirmations on the wall.. doing my deep breathing trying to get into the zone again. Erratic pains were coming and going. What the hell is going on…
Finally 3:30 am on October 28th. I broke down. I just wanted to know what was going on, why was I not progressing, why was labor stalling after my water broke!? I don’t want to be medically induced, I hadn’t slept in 2 days and I was exhausted. I called my midwife & she explained that everything was okay, not to worry that this was normal. Since my temperature was normal, the waters were clear she wasn’t worried and she would come check me the next morning and we can discuss my options.
October 28th – I am fed up now. I hadn’t slept in 2 days(I had cat naps in between my pains which were VERY inconsistent). I had barely eaten in the last 2 days. My mom and my partner barely slept. We were all just waiting. Waiting patiently or impatiently now for this little bugger!! I text my acupuncturist and I told her my situation. She said, “can you be here for 9:30 am?” I replied “YEP!!!” My partner took me to my appointment, my mom stayed home with Pablo. We got back home around noon-ish. Contractions had gotten quite intense but no pattern, and not regular at all. My partner had to leave. My midwife came by to check on me and the baby around 1:30 pm. Baby’s heart was good, my blood pressure was normal, my temperature was normal. She gave me a recipe to make a “labor cocktail” AKA castor oil smoothie!! I blended up the ingredients and drank the smoothie around 3 pm. I started having more intense pains but still could breathe through them, and still not consistent. My partner’s sister called me shortly after I drank the smoothie she said that I’ll probably be in labor in 2-3 hours so be prepared. I didn’t really think the smoothie would do it for me I was basically planning to go to the hospital at this point. I said to my mom okay if by 5 pm the contractions are not consistent I’m going to the hospital. I text my partner told him what my plan was. He was game.
I start timing my contractions they’re still inconsistent, but quite painful. I was breathing through them, I could manage it. By the time my partner got home he was ready to go to the hospital, he said to get my shoes on & let’s go.
5:50 pm – I am standing by the door with my sweats on, shoes half on, feeling very uneasy. Suddenly a very strong, and intense contraction hits me. I am keeled over against the wall screaming & suddenly crying!! HOLY FUCK! I was not prepared for this. The pain went from 0-100 REAL FUCKING QUICK. My partner was still wanting to take me to the hospital. I said, “THERE’S NO WAY IM GETTING INTO A CAR RIGHT NOW I CANT” The contractions were suddenly 2 minutes apart or less & fucking INTENSE. I felt pressure down below. My mom and I both knew its baby time!! Baby’s coming, and she’s coming NOW!
My mom had called my midwife 5 minutes earlier to notify her we were going to the hospital, now she calls her back. My midwife is at another birth so she told my mom to call 9-1-1 and she was going to send someone else(a different midwife) in the area to come in her place.
I start pacing around. I walk into my bedroom, still screaming and not able to breathe through these pains anymore now coming every minute. This was no joke. The baby was on her way. I start panicking & I feel like I have to poop(lol). I sit on my toilet and suddenly my body starts to push.. My mom runs in (she’s on the phone with 9-1-1) she yells at me “get off the toilet!!!!!” I waddle over to my bed with the help of my partner, he helps me pull my pants off and I lay sideways on my bed. My body pushes through another contraction. My body was pushing this baby out with or without me doing anything. Ahhhh!!! I thought to myself “someone please help me!” my partner puts some medical gloves on, opens my legs and says I’m doing great and starts reading me my birth affirmations trying to calm me down. I was screaming still. My partner says “repeat after me I trust in my body and my baby” I said “no!!!” he said, “just repeat it.” So I did. He told me to breathe. I tried to slow my breath down. It was pretty hard at this point.
My mom is holding my son in her arms, he’s screaming for his dad, and I was probably scaring the shit out of him the poor guy. I literally couldn’t think of anything else at this point though, but getting this baby out of me! My moms still on the phone with 9-1-1.
Suddenly…I hear sirens. 8 paramedics come into my house and into my bedroom. I’m just laying on my bed screaming and pushing involuntarily. I told them the baby was coming. It’s so surreal writing this out, I’m reliving this moment, although so blurry and it happened so fast, it was so crazy and I can’t believe it happened this way.
Anyway… so I’m yelling to the paramedics to help me, telling them the heads coming out. I hear them say it wasn’t coming out. I’m thinking to myself, YES IT FUCKING IS, I FEEL LIKE IM ABOUT TO SHIT OUT A WATERMELON RIGHT NOW! This one paramedic leaned over me and was trying to ask me questions I grabbed his arm and said “HELP ME PLEASE!” he said “ma’m we are going to get you some pain medication don’t worry” I said “please now!! give me some now!” They wanted me to get onto the stretcher. Are you kidding me!!!?
Midwife(Kelsey) arrives. THANK GOD. Just as baby’s head was starting to crown. She comes and reassures me that everything is okay. She said she is going to break my waters now, I said okay! (we thought my water already broke lol turns out it was just a leak) after that, I pushed the head out..slowly. I tried my best to breathe and not push hard as I didn’t want to tear. Kelsey lead the way. I focused on her voice. I felt a slight burning. She kept saying encouraging things to me and just helped me get through it. Her head was born at 6:12 pm then her body at 6:13 pm. My midwife put her on my chest.. I felt relief & was in shock. But just like that I fell in love all over again. I have some pretty comical videos my mom took of me after the birth. 22 minutes from the time I had that first painful contraction to the time she was born.
After all the chaos my twinkle lights were on, music was playing lightly in the background, the midwives cleaned the mess up, helped me clean myself up, they fed me, gave me juice and water, the paramedics were gone now. My son was calm. I got to lay in my bed after, nurse Amina and snuggle up. I was so comfortable.
This was such an empowering, and healing experience for me, although things were fricken crazy and I had an audience of 8 paramedics & my midwife barely made it in time to catch the baby I feel like it was amazing and beautiful! I was in shock after and was shaking a bit, but honestly, I was just like WHAT THE FUCK. I JUST DID THAT! I learned we cannot predict birth at all. Sometimes we can’t go by the book there was no 5-1-1 or 4-1-1 warning for me this time, as this baby had her own plans. I’m not sure if it was the smoothie or the acupuncture or both that kick-started things for me. We’ll never know! All I know is that shit was crazy, but I wouldn’t change it. I love how chaotic it was because I still got to do it at home, and roar my baby out at home. I felt a huge difference in comparison to my last birth. I also didn’t tear this time!!
I just want to thank all 3 of the midwives who attended my birth. Kelsey who literally rode her bike over like a mad woman got to my house so quick, and the other midwives who came and helped out. You were all so so amazing I’m so grateful you guys made it to my birth, and so last minute. I also want to thank my lovely mother & my partner! You guys rock! You stayed up for 2 days with me and were such great support for me and for Pablo.
Any mama who is low risk and healthy but questioning your strength to give birth naturally or at home… YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT!!!! It’s so worth it & It’s so god damn empowering. I feel like I took my power back. I feel like this has healed me from my first birth which was traumatic for me. I feel badass. I love homebirth. All birth is beautiful, no matter where or how you birth but I just want to give hope to any woman who has had a traumatic birth experience before and hoping for something different next time that it can happen!